


Professional Dude in Distress

by Lelline



Series: For the love of Jack [4]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF, X-Ray & Vav (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Angst, Crack, F/M, Fluff, Idiots in Love, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Not beta-read, Rare Pairings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-26
Updated: 2015-10-26
Packaged: 2018-04-28 05:09:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5079085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lelline/pseuds/Lelline
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It all started with a quick post on the Risemonger's wall: "Jack Pattillo is the most useful worthless ever. Hit him up if you need a partner in crime, a target or a lover. He can point you to any of those with accurate precision."<br/>Despite the fact that the Risemonger had ridiculous floppy hair, despite the fact that his next post had literally been a t-shirt design for a cat that had partied too hard…<br/>It turned out to be true that while Jack's powers were deemed too weak to be used in any sort of hero-ing or villain-ing endeavors, they were perfectly designed to be used as a reason to kidnap him.<br/>And he didn't mind at first, if it meant he got to be rescued by Joel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Professional Dude in Distress

**Author's Note:**

> This story was inspired by old Sky High quotes popping up on my Tumblr feed and a general need to get over the fact I'm finished writing Dark Grounds. I also wanted to have a story with Joel not being a jackass. It waves fondly at X Ray and Vav's Universe, but does not match it.
> 
> Please enjoy despite the lack of beta.

It was not something he started, or would have ever wanted to start.  
Though as it progressed, he really couldn’t say he minded.  
You see, Jack was a man born from the coupling between two high ranked sidekicks, with only one power that was ‘worthless’, but Jack was fine with being a worthless. It had sucked when he was a teen and had realized that he would never measure up the same as his peers at super school, and it had sucked when he graduated and had to spend the rest of his life as a normal person, but things had worked out in the end. He was best friends with heroes, he had a decent job, and he occasionally went out and got laid, even though his powers got in the way.  
While his mother had the ability to see through lies, to instinctively know who a person was on the inside, and while his father had the ability to charm people, to tell people what they wanted to hear and get them to cooperate with the police or with whoever else they needed to listen to…  
Jack’s ability was to see who people needed.Jack just needed to look into people’s eyes, and he would know who to direct them to, even if he didn’t know why.  
As things were, it was a hard power to measure, a hard power to use, and while he had once or twice directed people to doctors before they themselves knew they needed one, it was never judged to be a good superhero power. And the thing about it was, he couldn’t just look at someone, and automatically know that there was someone else, far away, that they needed to know. He had to know the person they needed, even if it had just been a passing glance. Sometimes the other person was easy to find, sometimes all he could do was shrug and tell them to look for a girl with purple hair.  
He had matched some of the biggest names in the business, whether it was for superheroing or for romance. Geoff, aka Ramseye met Griffon aka Chainsaw through him. Gus, Jack’s friend and fellow non-sidekick, met Esther though him. Gavin aka Vav, met his teammate Xray through him, and one day soon might meet the purple haired girl of his dreams through Jack. Ryan, aka the Mad King, met his partner in crime Jon aka Risemonger through him.  
And that last one was what was causing Jack the most grief and excitement.  
Because the Mad King and the Risemonger let people know how their team began. Risemonger had even announced it on his blog, in between tshirt designs and improv questions.

Jack Patillo is the most useful worthless ever. Hit him up if you need a partner in crime, a target or a lover. He can point you to any of those with accurate precision.

And despite the fact that the Risemonger had ridiculous floppy hair, despite the fact that his next post had literally been a t-shirt design for a cat that had partied too hard…  
It turned out to be true that while his powers were deemed too weak to be used in any sort of hero-ing or villain-ing endeavors, they were perfectly designed to be used as a reason to kidnap him.  
And it was fine at first. He worked for Ramseye’s alter ego, and Geoff would never fire him for being targeted. He was sure the man was more amused by him missing work than angered, and he didn’t even dock his pay for missed time. The first two times it had happened, it had just been a quick glance into would-be super villain's eyes and descriptions of what they wanted. The first had been an angry goth chick at the local craft story, the second had been a bus driver in the next city over. He didn’t know why they were important or if they were important, and both times he had told their descriptions to the police as soon as the villain had let him go.  
The third time though, he had been captured by the Corpirate. The man had gotten a description of their mayor and then instead of letting Jack go, he had put him into a jail cell.  
That had been the issue. Jack's problem wasn’t caused by the cell itself, since all in all it had been a relatively comfortable cell, with a mini fridge, a box set of pirate books, and cable.  
Jack’s love hate relationship with being kidnapped by supervillains was the rescue that always followed.  
That first time, he had barely gotten past the introduction of Ben Gunn in Treasure Island when his cell door had been forced open with a rattle faster than his eyes could see and there suddenly was Caboose and his heart had rattled faster than his brain could handle.  
Caboose was the opposite of Jack. Caboose had been born to two normal parents, had been told he could aspire to be a sidekick and after a year beside Trainswoman, he had taken his mentor’s place. Since then he had overcame every expectation, rising up to be a beloved hero. He was just filled with pure energy, able to move faster than anything else in the world, able to withstand pressures and impacts that would crush diamonds.  
And Jack had been secretly in love with him from the start. Since they had been kids in super school trying to ignore the jockish pre-heros and since before Joel had become Caboose and Jack was labeled ‘worthless’ and tossed back in with the norms.  
“Jack.” Caboose had smiled widely that first time, holding out a hand towards him. His face had hardly aged a day in the last decade, his eyes hidden behind the stupid visor he wore as if to hide his identity. Jack knew Caboose rarely rested, he knew he never bothered building an identity for ‘Joel’, yet it was a relief to never have to look into his eyes.  
Jack dreaded the day he looked at Joel again. It had been easier as kids, easier before Jack’s powers kicked in 24-7. Because the few times he had accidentally read Joel as a kid, it had been when Joel needed Jack, when Joel needed a friend to talk to. The last time it had happened, Jack had seen Trainswoman in Joel’s eyes and had told his friend it in an excited tone. He had been delighted at Joel’s chance to be more.  
But years later, he realized that his childish excitement was gone. Now, he almost didn’t want to see Joel ever again, let alone see his eyes.  
If he looked into Joel’s eyes, he would see what Joel needed the most. Jack already knew what that would be, since Joel would need someone to be his rock in every storm.  
Joel would need a Lois Lane to his Superman, a Pepper Potts to his Iron Man, an Arwen to his Aragorn.  
And Jack knew he would tell him. Jack knew the moment he saw Joel’s perfect lover, he would be unable to resist the need to tell Joel who they were. To tell them man he loved exactly who would make him happier than Jack ever could.  
It was why he rarely dated, why he rarely got laid, because in the end, he would look at the other person's face and see someone else in their eyes. He would see a perfect lover for them, someone who would give them everything they needed and wanted. And it was crushing every time, even when his partner had been a relative stranger. It was hard to set the mood when faced with the obvious reminder that no one ever needed Jack.  
So he had been a coward, even as Caboose stood in front of him in the cell. He took a deep breath and smiled back at Joel. “Caboose, thanks for the rescue.”  
And Joel had nodded, the movement almost too fast to catch. “The way out is clear. Will you be fine walking it? Police are on their way.”  
And Jack had just agreed like the coward he was and didn’t try to talk to him.  
Caboose had left, faster than the speed of light, and Jack had made his way out, trying not to wish for more. Trying not to wish for the painful heartbreak he knew was coming.

He had never planned for more frustrating chances to be a coward. But they came anyways in the form of more rescues.  
As his reputation grew, as did his villainous ‘customers’. And since none of them wanted him to tell the police or superheros who they were headed for, they started to get a little creative in stopping him from warning people.  
Some of them turned to cells, some turned to abandoning him in unfamiliar and hostile places, while some even tried a more permanent solution.  
And every time, Caboose would arrive. He would free Jack, would save Jack, and in one beautiful occasion had even carried Jack out of a live volcano and complimented Jack’s beard. He was everything Jack wanted, he was breaking Jack's heart by making him love him more with each interaction.  
But it was worth it. Seeing Joel made every hour of missed work, every tease and text from Geoff, and every ruined set of clothes worth it. 

All good things came to an end though.  
Jack's happiness, Jack's denial was destroyed during a routine kidnapping by the man who had started it all, the Risemonger. The floppy haired villain had asked Jack to tell him a target and Jack for once had seen nothing but himself in the man’s cold eyes. He had panicked, tried to lie, and came up with nothing, and for a moment, he feared his powers were gone.  
But that revelation had just made the ‘Monger smile. His sentient arms had grabbed onto Jack, depositing him up high up in the rafters of the warehouse with no way down.  
And he had waited.  
Caboose had shown up within minutes, tensing as he looked at Risemonger. “Isn’t it kinda getting old, kidnapping the Worthless?”  
“I don’t think either of us finds him Worthless.” Jon had laughed, floppy hair bouncing with the movement. Jack made a mental note to check if his hair was part of his powers.  
There had been a resulting showdown between the two, with a lot of crashes and explosions that made Jack decide to try and scale along the rafters towards an old storage shelf to try and climb down. The old building was doing surprisingly well in the chaos, but Jack didn't want to risk being up there when the roof caved in.  
As Jack shakily made his way down the old shelves, he felt a pair of hands help him down, ready to catch him when the second last shelf couldn’t handle his weight and had nearly given way. Jack had let go, ready to drop the two feet to the ground, but instead had been gently lowered.  
“Are you alright?” Joel asked, right behind him. The Risemonger was gone, probably to lick his wounds.  
It had been unfair. It had been unfair for him to be so close and be looking at Jack so softly when the man had turned.  
Because Joel’s eyes had been as beautiful as Jack had remembered. Joel still looked so beautiful like Jack had remembered.  
But it seemed like his powers were far from gone. It seemed that fate was just as cruel to him as he expected.  
“There's a man.” Jack started softly, trying his hardest to hide his pain behind a mask of indifference. “There's a man who works for Geoff Ramsey. He has a full beard and a septum piercing and is in his 20’s. You should go find him.”  
Joel’s face lit up with the news and he grabbed Jack’s hand, tugging him out of the building with obvious glee. He was obviously being careful to move just slowly enough so that Jack could keep up, but he's usually too-quick scatterbrain mind could not handle the news. He had made an occasional noise, like he was reacting to a conversation inside his mind, and it just made Jack want to stay beside him, made Jack wonder if Joel would make noises and faces whenever he read. Jack wondered if Jack would want to cuddle sometimes, to just sit inside and share a couch and a book and a cup of coffee larger than their hands.  
Joel left to go meet with the man of his dreams, and Jack just had on the next bus, not minding when it turned out it was headed straight to his neighbourhood. He texted Geoff to let him know he was taking the day off due to kidnapping, then went home and got the warmest bath he could handle, trying not to think of Joel.

It felt worse when he woke up. Felt worse when he realized that he never been what Joel had needed, that he had just been fooling himself by thinking they could have been more.  
It was hard to process, especially as Jack tried to salvage his self esteem and pride.  
He went to work the next day and ignored the strange looks the bearded intern gave him as he headed straight into his office and locked the door.  
Geoff must have realized something had gone awry, and after two visits to Jack’s office, he offered to take him out to lunch.  
“What happened?” He asked him over a burger and fries, glancing at Jack’s tiny order of just fries and a coffee.  
“I saw Joel’s match.” Jack told his fries, picking at them as his stomach turned. “It wasn’t me.”  
Geoff cursed.  
When Jack got off work that day, Griffon was there waiting for him, little Millie waiting in the back of the car.  
“Get in loser.” She called out. “We’re going shopping.”  
Jack agreed if only to have something to do.

It soon became apparent that Geoff had let Jack’s personal security go lax before, since he had managed to keep Jack safe for weeks after that last meeting with Joel. There was more guards around the building, and Geoff and Griffon often would shuttle him between work and his apartment, or hired a car service to do it.  
Jack appreciated both Geoff’s ability to keep him away from Joel, and his earlier tact at making sure not to interfere. It was a little pathetic to think about…  
especially as he watched the Intern Adam slowly blossoming with what had to be new love…  
But he had appreciated every moment he had spend with Caboose. He hadn’t minded the danger, hadn’t minded the inconvenience, and did not mind how bad his heartache was now, because he had spent time with the man he’d loved as a result. After years, after over a decade of unrequited love with a man who he never had the chance to see, he had spent a few weeks with sweet sweet hope.  
And now he had an answer. An answer that hurt more than he had ever dreamed, but an answer that let him know it was time to forget Joel. It was time to forget gentle warm hands, warm chocolate eyes and that laugh that made his bones melt into a puddle.  
Joel was happy now. Joel had Adam now.  
Jack needed to move on. Jack needed to find peace with himself. Jack was not going to let a silly little heartbreak from a stupid crush utterly destroy him.  
He made a dating profile. He even posted it.  
But when he woke up the next morning and saw three responses, he just couldn’t get himself to look at them. He went to work, ignored Adam when he tried to talk to him, and locked himself in the office and just threw himself into his work.

Geoff slipped up in Jack’s security.  
Jack supposed it had something to do with him unexpectedly staying past 8 pm working on projects that were already ahead of schedule. The CEO, superhero, father, philanthropist was a busy man, and Jack couldn't blame him for the mistake, especially since the security was a favour. Still, the bearded man hadn’t even stopped for lunch, and he was tired, hungry and cranky when he had stumbled down to the garage to try and drive home  
He hadn’t even made it past the elevator before he was grabbed.  
The mad king was a gentleman about it at least, making him describe a girl with purple hair and glasses (notably not the same one Vav was looking for and damn maybe he should have given him a better description) and then put him in some dark little well or hole or something in the middle of nowhere with a day’s worth of rations and a warm blanket.  
He had been miserable down there, miserable wet and cold, as well as hungry, tired and cranky.  
And it had been worse when he had been scooped out of the hole unexpectedly and lifted out with one quick jump.  
He looked over, expecting Geoff or in worst case Joel to be his rescuer.  
Instead it was Adam Ellis himself, dressed in armor more suited for a viking convention.  
He swallowed down bile, faced with the realization that Adam would indeed be perfect for Joel.  
The intern had always been sweet, had always been too kind and too patient, not even minding Jack’s frequent unexplained absences. Even now, he looked worried for Jack, his eyes telling Jack the man needed to see the woman Jack had seen on the side of the road that morning selling kittens.  
“You should get a cat,” Jack had murmured softly, before finally feeling his body give up its fight against unconsciousness.

It was a bit dramatic for a moment to wake up in a hospital.  
He had worried, sitting up and glancing around. Even strange weak powers like his would eventually ping something in lab tests, and it was always awkward having to pay off lab techs and doctors to get them to forget the strange electronic readings coming from his eyes or the fact his bloodtype sometimes changed between A+ and AB+. He relaxed a little though when he saw a union jack pillow on the guest chair.  
He was in the care of Dr Gavin Free, also known as Vav. He would be fine.  
A moment later, he realized that he was making an incorrect assumption about how safe he was, because none other than Joel Heyman stepped inside, carrying a bouquet of flowers and smiling a little too widely.  
“Joel.” Jack murmured softly.  
“Adam told me you fainted mid-rescue” Joel said, eyes dark from lack of sleep. He put the flowers on his bedside table before going over to sit on the guest chair, propping his feet up on the bed. “Also, you’re hurting my feelings avoiding me like this.”  
“I’m not.” Jack lied, not meeting his eyes. “I just needed a break from the stress. I’m not… I’m not super." The words kept coming, revealing a little too much of his vulnerability. "I can’t withstand the same stuff you guys do.”  
Joel was at his side in literally a moment, hands hovering over Jack’s prone form as if he would be able to just touch him and make his stress go away. “You were hurt?”  
“No. But I could have been.” Jack said. “And I was this time… Not really but... “ He gestured to the hospital room. “I need to take better care of myself.”  
“I can’t disagree with that.” Joel slid his hand into Jack’s. “I’ve got a partner now. Between the two of us maybe we’ll be able to help you fix your kidnapping problem.”  
Jack wanted to yell at something, though he didn’t know what. “Nah. I think Geoff is going to be able to handle it. Thanks though.”  
There was a pause, and Jack wondered if Joel knew what was happening. Instead, Joel let out a sudden laugh, hand moving to Jack’s shoulder. “Come on Jack, we’ve been friends for years. Let me help.”  
“No. I’m fine.” Jack offered him a fake smile, not meeting his eyes. “You’ve got a new partner to train. Stop worrying about me.”  
“I’ll worry about you anyways.” Joel said quietly before disappearing from the room.

Jack didn’t mope for the next two days.

It was Dr Free himself who helped Jack out of the hospital, driving him home. “I met her, you know, Meg, the girl with the purple hair. She’s absolutely top.”  
“That’s good.” Jack murmured, mind already back on Joel. “Did she meet you as Gavin or as Vav?”  
“Both.” Gavin smiled softly. “I don’t exactly wear a mask, remember.”  
“How did she take your other job?”  
Gavin’s flush was telling. “She thinks its top.”  
Not wanting to hear about the mating habits of 20-something year olds in spandex (unless it was remembering his old fantasies of Joel), Jack nodded and tried to change the topic.

Jack had decided long ago the more you avoided something, the more the world threw it into your face. And there it was on the front page of his newspaper the next day, Caboose and Gilby: Crime fighting team extraordinaire. There were dramatic photos of Caboose carrying the larger man, of Gilby shielding Caboose as they faced Butch Flowers, as they faced down Risemonger, as they stumbled out of crumbling buildings.  
Jack brought his paper to work just so he could have the satisfaction of running it through the shredder, petty as that was.  
The next day they were on the covers of the gossip mags in the supermarket. They were on Ellen, they were on the radio, and exactly three weeks after Jack had been rescued by the viking, he was confronted with Caboose being the google doodle.  
He turned off his computer, went for a long walk in the cold air, then came back to finally reopen the dating website.  
It was pathetic.  
Most of the profiles were ab shots or were pictures of them doing insanely fun things that Jack just wasn’t interested in. The more he refined the search, the less people were showing, until all that was left was the one profile.  
It was an older man with deep brown eyes, and a thin frame. He seemed to be of mixed heritage, with almond shaped eyes, thick hair, and caramel skin. He worked at an electrical company, had a house and a dog, and he had a thing for "men with meat on their bones".  
Jack messaged him back and was pleasantly surprised when they hit it off.

Geoff singled him out at work the next day, giving him a surprised look. “You seem happy.”  
“I am.” Jack shrugged.  
“Did you finally start talking to Caboose again?” Geoff asked.  
Jack shook his head and didn’t tell him about his date, didn’t want to hear of his opinions. He especially didn’t want or need Geoff to be there, breathing down their necks when the met. Whether or not Geoff liked him was not important.

His date turned into a massive crocodile dragon.  
It had already been an awkwardly painful date, with the man being a little less charming and a little more brutish in person. The waiter had made one little $1 mistake and the bill and while Jack had been mentally preparing for his date to chew the poor employee’s head off, he wasn’t expecting it to actually happen.  
So hiding behind an overturned table, trying to text Geoff an ‘SOS’, Jack decided that he would have Geoff filter through his dates.  
Or Griffon, he decided as he heard the familiar buzz of her beloved chainsaw.

Jack did end up on the cover a magazine in the end. He only wished that it wasn't the cover of Weekly World News, and he wondered if Joel had noticed. He hoped he didn’t, since ‘Gay mutant croco-dinosaur fails at finding love” was not a line he ever wanted associated with him. Especially since the photo itself hadn’t been the best.  
The Risemonger had made a t-shirt design out of it within three days, the fucker.

Griffon helped filter out the next date, though it was still a bust, if only for the fact Jack had looked into his eyes and found himself telling the other man to go talk to Jack’s hairdresser. Jack had a feeling they’d be happy together.  
So it was with the extra sting of failed relationships that Jack ran into Joel. That and the cut of too tight ropes since he had been kidnapped. Again.  
The most annoying part about it all was that this time he hadn’t been dragged away to look into his captor’s eyes. He had not been grabbed for his powers.  
He had been grabbed as bait, and as such had been placed in the most suspicious spot in a dark room, mouth gagged so he couldn’t say a word as Joel- the idiot- walked straight into the textbook trap, even removing his visor as he approached Jack. He was oblivious to the danger, mouth opening as if to say something witty or scathing.  
The following moments were filled with Jack screaming into his gag as a laser hit them from above. It was interesting to know how it smelt when your blood was burning inside your eyeballs, though Jack wasn’t sure the knowledge was worth the experience.  
(Having Joel thrown over him, warm body trying to shield Jack, was almost worth the experience.)  
The thinner man let out a pained laugh when the laser faded, his grip on Jack noticeably lighter.  
“What was that?” His voice was rough and a little slurred, and his arms twitched before he slumped further against Jack.  
Jack could just sit there, gasping for breath around the gag and tied too tightly to move.  
When Joel moved again, he was slow and almost a little too careful. Jack thought for a moment it was out of consideration for Jack’s still smoking skin, but then he accidentally looked into Joel’s eyes and only saw himself looking back.  
For a split second, he had been so happy he could have died. For a split second he had let himself hope.  
And then he realized that Joel’s weak, slow movements weren’t intentional and neither of them had their powers.  
Joel picked at Jack’s bindings until Jack could free his arm and start working on the rest himself. Jack was getting pretty good at undoing knots and gags, through as always the later caught on his beard.  
“Are you alright?” Jack asked softly, shifting Joel so that he was properly laid out in his lap.  
“Not really.” Joel said dryly, head resting against Jack’s chest. “Fucking hell.”  
Jack almost took a moment to bask the feeling of the man he loved in his arms.  
But then his eyes ached in his skull, and he wondered if this was how Joel’s whole body felt since the other man wasn’t as specialized.  
Jack rose carefully, Joel heavy in his arms. “Can you walk?” He asked him. “We’ve gotta escape.”  
“Yeah…. just a second, fuck…” Joel slipped down slowly, still leaning against Jack as he stood. “Fuck. I need a fucking aspirin.”  
“I need new eyeballs.” Jack said dryly, but helped the other man walk as they made their way to the door.  
“I like your eyes.” Joel said a little distractedly, before adding. “Do you have your phone on you?”  
Jack shifted a little to check his pockets, finding his wallet and phone gone. His keys were with Griffon at least, so he wouldn’t need to call a locksmith to get into his house that night. “Nope. You?”  
“I think my radio is busted.” Joel said, tugging the shattered metal from his ear. “But that means Adam will be on his way.”  
They stepped out into the sunlight, only to find that they were in the middle of nowhere, not even a road in sight.  
Jack sighed, and sat, taking Joel with him.  
“What are you doing?” The man said, even as he slumped with relief at the chance to rest. “Why are we sitting.”  
“If we wander off, we might not be found by rescuers.” Jack said. “So we just need to wait.”  
“We shouldn’t have to wait. Is this what waitings like? Waiting sucks.” It was nice to see Joel was still quick thinking even without his powers.  
“Why do you think I’m so eager to stop getting captured.”  
“I thought it was because you’re avoiding me.”  
Jack froze, looking over to where Joel was looking at him, face a little too close. “Jack.” He murmured, eyes studying Jack’s. “Why are you avoiding me?”  
“I’m not.” Jack lied terribly, swallowing down his unease and hoping his beard would spread and cover his whole face to hide his emotions. “I’ve just been safer. It's not like we ever hung around outside of rescues.”  
Joel’s forehead crinkled and he gave Jack a look. “Bullshit. You’re avoiding me.”  
“Well, you’ve been busy too training up Gilby… going on adventures together.” Jack fucking hated how weak his voice sounded.  
“You’re jealous.” Joel realized with a start, eyes going wide. “You’re jealous of Gilby? For being a superhero?”  
And Jack was weak enough to just nod, not wanting Joel to realize how jealous he was.  
“Come on Jack, you’re amazing.” Joel said. “You might not be able to save the world directly, but think of all the superhero teams you’ve built, think about all the lives you’ve saved.”  
It was nice to hear all that, even though Jack was secure in his knowledge that he could do a lot of good. “I’m also responsible for uniting supervillain duos and pointing them at targets.”  
“And then you turn around and tell us the exact same things so they lose their advantage.” Joel reached over to squeeze his shoulder. “Come on Jack, we’ve been friends for over a decade. You must realize by now that I’d do anything for you.”  
Jack swallowed hard, glancing up to meet Joel’s eyes and trying not to let himself read too deeply into the emotions in his eyes. He shrugged, “You’d do anything for anyone. You’re a superhero.”  
Joel flinched at the words, reaching for Jack as if to grab him. But Jack leaned away, and in the next moment, a beam of light fell upon them, the touch soothingly cold and minty. It was soothing at first, but it made Jack shiver when he realized he could see Gilby reflected once more in Joel’s eyes.  
He looked away, glad to see Xray and Vav on the approach, accompanied by a man almost dressed as Conan the Barbarian.  
“Jack!” Gavin called out excitedly. “Are you alright?”  
And Jack nodded and stood, glad for the excuse to walk away from Caboose.  
Everytime he saw Gilby in Joel’s eyes, the pain grew easier to handle. But it still felt like a blow to the ribs, like the viking had come up to him and knocked every milliliter of air from his lungs.  
Jack hated it. Jack hated letting his heartache control his life, ruin his friendship with Joel.  
But he wa a coward, not a superhero. He was a coward and he just couldn’t deal with things.  
So he left.

Jack decided that Geoff was no longer his best friend.  
They had years of companionship, shared laughs, and blackmail between them, but as he sipped his fresh coffee and glanced at his 10 am appointment, he prepared himself to let it all go. It would suck having to look for a new best friend, but Gus could be funny sometime and there was always Burnie.  
Adam looked just as conflicted from the other side of the desk, though his arms remained closed and he leaned against the door, ensuring Jack couldn’t escape. Jack glanced back idly at his window, wondering how much it would hurt if he ended up going flying out it, Tony Stark style.  
“Okay.” The viking hero said firmly. “We’re going to talk right now. It's going to be great. Let's start with ‘What the hell is your problem with me?’ and end with ‘What the hell is your problem with Joel?’”  
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Jack said. “And I’d appreciate it if you didn’t make this feel like a hostile work environment.”  
“Cut the crap, Jack.” Adam said. “Is it because I’m a superhero now?”  
“Not really.” The older man shifted back, setting down his coffee. “I mean… It's not you.”  
“So it's because Joel has a partner.” Adam gave him an unimpressed look.  
“No.” Jack said too sharply, wincing at his own obviousness then glancing down. “I mean, Joel needed a partner. He works too hard, he doesn’t even really rest. I’m not even sure Joel Heyman exists on paper anywhere anymore.”  
A sudden understanding crossed Adam’s face, and Jack couldn’t get himself to deny what was being left unsaid.  
He was too cowardly to tell Joel, but he wouldn’t deny it. He loved him. And no matter how frustrating it was, no matter how much it hurt, no matter how much he wished the heartache would disappear.  
He didn’t want that love to disappear. He just didn’t know what to do with it.  
“You should stand by him then.” Adam said softly. “He needs friends.”  
“He has you now.” Jack said. “A partner. I could never matter compared to that.”  
“You believe that.” Adam seemed stunned for a moment. “Thats fucking insane.”  
Jack met the viking warrior’s eyes, seeing Joel reflected back at him and smiling softly. “No. I know I could help. I just can’t.”  
“Why the hell not.”  
“You know why.” Jack turned back to his coffee. He was glad at least that his powers did not work on reflections, glad he did not see the reminder of how much he needed Joel to hold him at that moment. He sighed, feeling old, feeling too human in ways that his friends would never understand.  
“Please leave.” He added after a pause, unable to look at the man who would make Joel happy. The man who could stand by him through everything.  
“You’re an idiot” Adam said, but obeyed, shutting the door behind him so that Jack could mope in peace.

It was nearly midnight when Jack's door was nearly beat down with a too-quick knock.  
Jack had been getting ready for bed, dressed in the ugliest pyjama pants he owned and an old shirt, but he didn't bother to grab a housecoat, knowing who was on the other side of the door and knowing why the man was there.  
He had not known Joel would a slow kisser. He had never expected the way Joel buried one hand in Jack's hair as he tilted his head, deepening the kiss and making Jack lose the ability to marvel over the kiss. For the next few moments, all Jack could do was hold onto the superhero and try to keep his knees from buckling.  
Joel parted the kiss but kept his grip on Jack, smiling up at the man, eyes reflecting just Jack. ‘You’re a freaking moron.”  
Jack would have flinched if the sentence hadn’t been punctuated by another slow kiss. The meaning of the words was lost to him, and he did not protest when Joel nudged him backwards, a hand leaving his hip to shut the apartment door and give them privacy.  
“You’re a fucking moron and I’m in love with you.” Joel murmured softly when they parted again. “I can’t believe how stupid you’ve been. You thought I was with Adam Ellis?"  
"He's always in your eyes." Jack said, "every time I see you, you need him."  
"Because every time I see you, I just want to take you home and forget about the rest of the world, forget about my job." Joel looked up at Jack, eyes reflecting back only the stunned man. "That's why I need Adam... So I can spend more time with you."  
The next kiss was just as slow as the first, Joel exploring every inch of Jack's mouth before sucking on his bottom lip, leaving it sensitive and swollen. Jack let out a breathless noise, and Joel pulled away as if it make a smug comment but Jack didn't let him, kissing along the smug grin.  
"I guess this means you like me too." The man said, brown eyes showing only Jack's reflection. "Fuck man, I can't believe after all this time you still don't know how to use your powers."  
"People who are going to fall in love, or who have just fell in love always show the other person in their eyes."  
"Well then that makes you twice as stupid." Joel said. "I fell in love with you in school, not now."  
And Jack did feel stupid, but Joel was quick to make him feel better.

The next kidnapping had Jack a little bemused, especially since it was the Risemonger and the floppy haired villain had taken care not to ruin Jack's suit. He had even modified his planned method of restraining him, tying him to a chair and suspending that over the pit of black sludge.  
"You look nice today." Jon commented after getting the description of Griffon Ramsey. "Special occasion?"  
"It was going to be a first date." Jack said, "we'll miss our reservation though."  
"Is it with another reptile?" The man asked, "that reminds me." One of his extra arms reached back, grabbing a canvas bag from the side. He put it on Jack's lap. "I figured you would want one of your shirts."  
"Thanks." Jack said dryly, "but I decided to stick to mammals from now on."  
"That's the same rule my darling has." Jon nodded, before flipping a switch to start lowering Jack.  
Jack grimaced, glancing back down at the goop and praying that the sight of the occasional popping air bubble wasn't a sign it was hot.  
The machine stopped a few moments before Jack's feet would have hit the sludge, and he glanced over, not surprised to see Caboose standing next to the lever. A moment later Jack was being raised back up.  
"Caboose." Risemonger said with a startled look. "You're quicker than I was expecting."  
Joel shrugged offhandedly, glancing occasionally to make sure Jack was fine. "You know how it is. I got concerned when my boyfriend was late for our date."  
Jack appreciated how quick Joel was to disarm Risemonger (in quite a literal way).  
Joel leaned over to Jack and pulled his chair back over the safety rail, taking the bag and putting it over his shoulder before he started to untie Jack.  
"Throw that in the tar." Jack said with a disbelieving noise, reaching for it as soon as his arm was free.  
Joel kissed him instead, removing his visor so that he could see those warm brown eyes sparkle with mischief.  
"No. This is proof that my boyfriend is famous. I'm gunna wear it everywhere."  
The asshole did wear it everywhere. He even wore it when he met the new president, and Geoff made a ripoff shirt for people to buy so Risemonger wouldn't profit from the sales.

Joel did murmur and make faces when he read, though he preferred to read about stocks and articles over actual books.  
They took turns being the big and little spoon, most of their dates were interrupted by supervillains and natural disasters and living together was more of an adjustment than either expected. Joel liked things neat, tossing things as soon as they lost immediate purpose. Jack liked to hold onto things, and had a bunch of old nick knacks. He wasn't dirty, but he didn't stress himself trying to keep everything immaculate. Still, Jack couldn't complain about anything, even when he saw Gilby sometimes in Joel's eyes. Joel was his and he was Joel's.  
Besides, now that he was the established first choice for damsel in distress in the eyes of most supervillains, he had a good excuse to see Joel while he was working.


End file.
